#BlogElul 25: Change


I’m actually writing this post on the Friday, because I don’t write posts on Shabbat, and I have to go out and help run a service after Havdallah. So if you are wondering, this is a pre-written post. A change for me!

We are getting closer and closer to the end of this month of Elul, and to the beginning of the new year 5778. The theme for this post is change, and change is a scary and wonderful thing.

There are many ways to deal with change. There are people in my life who are very attached to routine and stability, and change frightens and perturbs them. They respond with anxiety, stress and anger, which does not improve their quality of life or that of those around them. Change happens anyway, and they are dragged into it kicking and screaming. What can they do to make the inevitable more pleasant?

Conversely, there are people in my life who hunger for change – easily bored, always looking to travel, to change jobs, to change where they live and who they hang out with. They welcome change, but sometimes they use it as a distraction to avoid dealing with the issues they carry around with them. To quote one of my kids’ current favourite songs, it’s always easier to run. What can they do to avoid re-creating the same problems in different places?

As a coach who trained at The Life Coach School, my answer to pretty much everything is – control of their thoughts. Whether their reaction to change is positive or negative, it all comes from the story they are telling themselves about the change in question.

Is it going to ruin everything?

Is it going to solve everything?

The answer to both questions, for most things, is probably no. But we tell ourselves the most fantastical stories, making up huge consequences that are really highly unlikely, whether we perceive them as negative or positive.

Stop.

Pause.

Consider the thoughts you are thinking right now.

Are they true? Do you have evidence for them? Could another story fit the evidence that we have just as well, with less dire or amazing consequences?

How do we want to feel, and what action do we think will help us feel that way?

I’ll leave you with a quote from Mark Twain:

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

If you want to continue the conversation with me about ways of controlling our thoughts, click on one of the links next to this blog post and book a free call or meeting with me.

Have a great week!!

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